Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Ever gone into something when you have absolutely no idea what the thing is all about? I usually don’t read reviews of movies that I watch from others until I have written my own (and sometimes not even then) so I don’t cloud my judgement. It’s impossible not to be moved to a certain extent by what even the most inept judge has to say on any movie, even if it’s something that you disagree with, as you may find yourself selling an average movie too hard, just to defend it against another review that may have been over critical and vice versa.
So what did I know about Percy Jackson prior to sitting down and watching it? Well for starters I didn’t even know the proper title, but I guessed there would be lightning in it somewhere, and I also suspected some kind of thief to make an appearance. Aside from that, I have to admit to being just a smidgen ignorant about the whole malarkey.
Which is probably just as well, because if someone had mentioned ‘magical’, ‘clone’ and ‘Harry Potter’ to me, I really wouldn’t have bothered. By all accounts, this ‘nearly-passed-me-by-altogether’ adaptation of a book that actually did so was nowhere near as bad as my imagination would have decided it would be had I known about it in advance.
So, a lesson learned, at least. You can’t really judge a book by its cover if you’ve never actually seen the cover, now can you.
So I’ll dispense with any other expectations, as there wasn’t any and suggest that Percy Jackson is a bit of a hoot. It’s not grand opera, I’ll grant you, but it ticks all of the boxes for the type of audience that will go and see it. There’s fighting (with swords), dragons, gods, lightning, fire, more lightning, a bit of a romance for the girlies and a bit more fire. There isn’t much sophistication involved, but the pace of the film hurtles along and you barely have time to catch your breath between one action-crammed scene and the next. Two hours literally flew by quick enough to make my head spin.
It’s safe to say that if you liked the Harry Potter movies more than the books (assuming you read them) then you will be well served here. Suitably stuffed and full of indigestion by the end of it, in fact.
Being the offspring of a human Mother and god Father is not an easy lot for a chap (still better than being a teenage wizard though, I should add) and when the eponymous Percy finds out about his altogether unorthodox parentage, he is understandably taken aback. Whether this was because the news sounded so fantastical or because Pierce Brosnan’s top half had been cgi’d to the body of a horse and he had just found out that the bit of his best friend he sees every day, who he’s known for years, was actually the better looking half of an amalgam of man and goat, it is difficult to tell.
Still, you must know something is up when your teacher turns into a flying gargoyle-cum-banshee-cum-harpy and stars babbling and growling at you, all wings, fangs and slobber about some lightning bolt that Percy is alleged to have stolen. Not too bright, our Percy, it seems. And in need of a new pair of trousers, I shouldn’t wonder.
And with this amazing discovery, a few small puzzles in Percy’s life start to fall into place and his adventure duly begins. He is charged, as the bastard son of Poseidon, to return the lightning bolt to Zeus, from who it was pinched. You’d think a God could keep track of his valuables, but there you go. Not only this, as if things weren’t bad enough, Hades has made off with his mother, so Percy also has to visit the underworld to get her back as well. There just isn’t a minute’s peace.
But in order to reach the underworld, he has to traverse the United States (why just the States, by the way?) to obtain three pearls, which are required to get back out of hell once he has rescued his Mother from the fiery clutches of Hades himself, played ultimately by Steve Coogan with all the flair and brimstone-tossing fury of a trainee traffic warden with confrontational issues. Securing the three pearls is no mean feat, as each one is well guarded by a better known foe from Greek Mythology. I won’t ruin it for you and tell you which one, but think Harry Hamlin and ‘Clash Of The Titans’ and you won’t go far wrong.
The performances by all concerned are never outstanding and a couple of them could easily be accused of over-acting, but this is a larger than life affair, aimed at the little ones, so perhaps we should really overlook these amplified affectations.
As I said the pace is breakneck, dragging the plot along with it whether it likes it or not. There are some outstanding special effects involved and the script is everything an eleven-year-old boy could want, really, with some splashes of humour that even the grownups in the audience can appreciate.
In all, a fun-filled couple of hours that won’t stretch the grey matter too harshly and might even expand your children’s knowledge of the Greeks. Who knew the movies could teach the kids anything?
Big, loud, shouty, firey fun.
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